After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
