My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Mom said you looked used
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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