He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
