i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
sex in a hospital.. check
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
