): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Randomize
