There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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