My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Who put my cat in the fridge?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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