He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
