She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Still dying that you shit outside
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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