i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
