Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize