She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
