There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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