So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
