I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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