I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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