I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
