I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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