The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
