Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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