Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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