Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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