i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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