why didn't you poke me back
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
