Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
