Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
