I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
