you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
