T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Randomize
