He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
