god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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