I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
