okay pat passed out under dana's car
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
