Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He's a Shit stain on my heart
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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