Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I think I just shit out all my problems.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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