hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
