We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
