i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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