last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
