yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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