The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
My liver just had a heart attack.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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