Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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