The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
