There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Randomize
