brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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