we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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