I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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