I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
