it wasn't lemon gatorade
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
