I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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