O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
