Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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