Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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