I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
This is classic penis vs brain.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
there is puke in my bra ... again
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