new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
