I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
