Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
