I just made out with a guy for $7.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize