My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
