"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
