You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
stop calling my apartment porn island.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
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